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Posts Tagged ‘memories’

This past Saturday, May 9, 2025, my family gathered to remember and honor my Uncle David. He passed away last September, and we finally came together at the cemetery where he’s now resting with generations of our family. He’s buried alongside his parents, his sister, grandparents, uncles, cousins—even our great-grandparents who came over from Kirkcaldy, Scotland and  Bolton, England. It’s the kind of cemetery where the names on the headstones tell the story of a whole family tree. One day, I’ll be laid to rest there too.

We spent the day celebrating Uncle David’s life. He served 30 years in the U.S. Air Force, then gave another 20 years as a civilian working with them. He was a world traveler, a marathon runner, and—yes—a bagpipe player! He was the oldest of three siblings, followed by my dad, Bill, and their sister Althea, who passed away before him.

A special mention needs to be made of my cousin Maureen, who poured her heart into planning the memorial. She made sure every detail of the service reflected the love and honor due to Uncle David. And more than that, she took the time—quietly and lovingly—to clean and place flowers at the gravesites of all our maternal and paternal relatives laid to rest within the boundaries of “Althea Circle.” It was such a touching act. Even though the deer came the night before and munched off every bloom, leaving only stems, it was still so deeply meaningful. There was something poetic about it—a quiet reminder that family endures, no matter how weathered or worn. The graves tell stories of broken lives, lives well lived, lives cut short, and lives stretched long with years.

After the memorial, we had lunch together at a diner—but not your average New Jersey diner. This place was more like a fancy restaurant wearing diner clothes. While we were sitting and waiting for our food, my cousin Jimmy, quietly handed me an envelope. Inside were treasures—real ones.

There was a handwritten letter from my grandmother, Marion Riley Brown, to my grandfather, Alexander Brown. Her handwriting was elegant, full of grace, and the words… well, it was the most beautiful letter I’ve ever read. I had known it existed, but this was the day it found its way into my hands.

Also in the envelope was a typed page, also from my grandmother. It was made up of short, heartfelt paragraphs—each one a kind of poem, written for her three grandchildren at the time: me, my brother Bill, and our cousin Jimmy. Our cousin Tracy wasn’t born yet. Each paragraph was only about three or four sentences long, but they were packed with love. Honest, simple, deep love. Reading mine felt like years of therapy were suddenly compressed into a few lines of truth and tenderness.

It was like God nudged her back then—nearly 56 years ago—and whispered, “Write this down. She’ll need it someday.” And boy, did I need it now. I couldn’t stop the tears as I read it. The letter wasn’t just typed; it had little corrections and re-typed words where she made mistakes and went back to fix them. That kind of care? That kind of effort? It hit me hard. It meant everything.

I don’t even know if I have the words to explain how deeply this moved me. All I know is that God loves me. He saw this moment coming all those years ago. He knew what I’d need—and He made sure it was waiting for me.

And then it hit me—something else that made this day even more sacred: this might have been the last time our whole family will be together. Uncle David’s memorial brought us all together one final time. And for the very first time, the four grandchildren of our grandparents—Jimmy, Bill, me, and Tracy—were all together. Can you believe that? My brother is 64, Jimmy is 62, I’m 60, and Tracy is 54. And yet somehow, until Saturday, we had never all stood in the same place at the same time. That’s no accident. That’s God.

Once again, God revealed His great love for me. His attention to detail, His timing, His way of weaving beauty through even grief—it all overwhelmed me.

As it says in Matthew 6:8, “…your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” And He truly did. He saw my heart and prepared this gift decades ago.

Psalm 139:1–4 says:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you, Lord, know it completely.”

That’s the kind of love I felt in that moment. Deep. Personal. Seen. Heard. Known. And so, so loved.

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 If I close my eyes I can still smell the aroma of Italian sausage and marinara sauce simmering in my grandmothers 50’s styled-kitchen. With its white Tappan-O’Keefe range, chrome and Formica kitchen table with matching yellow vinyl chairs, and pull-down table lamp, grandmother’s kitchen is where all of the family action happened. The one stand out recollection I have of grandmother’s kitchen is morning breakfast with my grandfather and his blue cereal bowl, when I was 5 years old.

             “Good morning princess”, Grandpa said in his deep morning voice as I stumbled into the kitchen rubbing the sand from eyes.

             “Did you have sweet dreams?”, he asked.

 I shook my head yes, up and down with my eyes only partially opened, still half asleep and probably still dreaming of Puff the Magic Dragon and his magical flute.                                                                                               

Grandpa pointed with his well-beaten hand to the bright yellow chair with the shiny silver legs that sat against the wall, above it hung a clock with the moving eyes on it. That clock was always scary because it watched every move I made. If I closed my eyes and peaked out of my fingers it would always be looking back at me.

        Patting the seat cushion with his hand, Grandpa directed me to sit.

        “What’ll it be today Princess?”, he asked

        “Rice Krispies, or Corn Flakes?”

It was either or, the only two choices I had, unless it was winter, then I could choose to have oatmeal with cinnamon.

        “Rice Kripie”, I said.

It would take me another two years before I was able to say my S’s right.

Grandpa would set out two bowls, a small green one for me, and his favorite blue bowl. Grandpa only ate breakfast out of one bowl, never another. I knew I would never be allowed to eat my cereal out of his bowl and I think that is what made that bowl seem so magical and special to me. It was Grandpa’s bowl, it had to be special, just like him.

Breakfast was our time, just Grandpa and I. Grandpa worked for the New York City Subway as a plumber and woke each day at 5 AM so he could make the 6 AM train into the city. I woke up and shared the first meal of the day with him almost daily. My breakfast routine is pretty much the same now as it was when I was five, except grandfather is no longer here with me and I now own the blue cereal bowl that he used to start each day.

Grandfather owned many valuable items but it was the blue cereal bowl that everyone in family wanted when he died in March 1974. My grandmother, a small woman with the most beautiful white hair, refused to surrender the bowl to anyone, choosing instead to keep it for her own use. When grandmother passed in 2000 I inherited the bowl. Grandfather’s blue bowl is not just a bowl, it’s a bowl with a life, and possesses the same endearing qualities that my graced my grandfather’s life

The qualities that made my grandfather so endearing can be found in this small weathered piece of glass. This beautiful blue bowl is sturdy, it has fallen to the floor many times, and has been violated by the clashing of other dishes but yet it survives. My blue bowl has integrity and holds up well under pressure. It has character as well, this magnificent bowl doesn’t try to be anything except a bowl, and it never leaves you wondering about its purpose.

 The lines that graced the corners of my grandfather’s Clark Gable-like weathered eyes can be seen in the reflection that bounces from the sides of the bowls smooth outer surface, a reminder that he is always watching over me. The bowl’s kiln-fired soft blue color has faded over the years from loving use but its age has made it no less useful. The scratches that are engrained into the surface of the bowl are the same marks of character that were etched into my grandfather’s life.

My blue bowl is a concrete reminder of the love and warmth I once received for a great man. The human love that once graced my life in the flesh now revisits me each morning as hot oatmeal warms my fingers and heart. My ordinary blue bowl is more than a vessel that holds physical nourishment, it also holds an unending supply of emotional nourishment that feeds my spirit. This small, tattered, bowl comforts me like no person can.

 My grandfather has been gone from this world 34 years, yet his life lives on through the life of his cereal bowl. In the quite still of the morning I can still hear Grandpa talking to me like he did when I was five.

         “Patty Ann, if you listen carefully the cereal will tell you a secret”, he would say.

        “Get you ear real close and listen”.

        “Do you hear it?” he would asked. “ The secret?”

        “Snap, crackle………POP!”, he would shout loudly and I would giggle.

It has crossed my mind that perhaps one day tragedy might befall my beloved bowl and on that day I most certainly will mourn the loss of my grandfather, but I find comfort in knowing that in the meantime my grandfather lives on through the secrets that are told to me through the Snap! Crackle! and Pop that speak out from the shallow of this small tattered blue glass bowl each morning.           

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